Why I Hate Community

Ok, so I don’t really hate community but I do struggle with how the word is thrown around in Christian circles.

I am actually the #1 fan for community. I believe that the Bible teaches that we were made to live in community. I think that community is the crux of the Gospel.

With that said, I’m fed up with false realties and unrealistic expectations. My disdain for this type of ‘community’ came when I started working as a Resident Director at my alma mater. I watched as my girls struggled to find some false sense of reality and as they presented distorted images of themselves to be accepted and liked.

So here are a few things about community that I’ve observed…

1) Community is not being friends with everyone who says they’re a Christian

I’m gonna love you as my brother or sister in Christ but we may have different personalities or different interests. I’m not going to force a friendship, if it happens, great, if not, ok.

2) Community is being genuine.

In college, I tried to be 7 different people and that was exhausting. Now, I can only be Bri. Being genuine is natural and comes easy. Just be you.

3) Community is not a list of chores.

I’m convinced that true community is generated organically. It’s not a list of things, we have to do together. It’s a genuine desire to be together and things just happen. Events are planned from this authentic outpouring.

4) Community is refreshing.

I’ve watched people hang out with others in the name of ‘community’ and be completely drained in the process. Whatever your community looks like you should leave renewed and restored.

5) Community is not flawless.

Things get messy and fast. You’ve got to work at relationships. It’s worth it, I promise.

6) Community is life altering.

When you experience true community, you will be recked. When people love you despite your flaws, hold you while you’re crying, and support you without wavering, you can’t stay the same.


4 thoughts on “Why I Hate Community

  1. I’ve found there are two types of communities: 1) where people gather to like each other for not being different, or else they pretend to do so; the “just like me” community of Christians, and 2) where people gather to love each other anyway, admitting with total honesty that none of us is always likeable, but all of us are eternally loveable in God’s grace.

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