It’s OK To Want To Have Sex

There I said it.

Are you breathing easier now?

I sure hope so.

I have found that Christ followers are some of the most sexually frustrated people I have ever met in my life.

Many hide behind secret pleasures: masturbation, pornography, explicit music and the list goes on.

And no one ever has to know.

Those secret pleasures morph into guilt and shame which is only reinforced by the Sunday sermons and Wednesday Bible studies that demand you keep your pants on.

May I offer another approach?

You were created as a sexual being. Yes, you.

Your desire to have sex is a good thing. It is God placed.

In fact, sex, in the appropriate context of marriage, is an act of worship.

You just need to be mindful of your response to that.

When I tell people outside of the Church (and some within the Church) that I am still a virgin at 25, they are shocked. Their shock is coupled with assumptions that I am completely prude and have no sexual desires at all.

And how wrong they are.

I have just made a choice on how I will respond to those desires. And I make decisions around those choices. I can’t watch every movie or listen to every song.

I am very aware of my sexuality and have the appropriate guard rails up to protect it.

So Church, I’m begging you…can we change the conversation?

Can we teach our people how to respond to sexual urges rather than forcing them to suppress them?

10 thoughts on “It’s OK To Want To Have Sex

  1. Let talk about how the church makes you feel shameful and dirty if you do have sex. Like you’ll never have a marriage that can be Christ cemeteries and fulfilled.

    1. its hard to give too many practical applications to this because everyone is different but here are some ways I deal with sexual urges: preemptive approaches (i don’t watch certain scenes in movies or listen to certain songs), working out or being active, choosing to not be alone, getting in the Word, asking someone to pray for me, or just getting out of the house.

    1. its hard to give too many practical applications to this because everyone is different but here are some ways I deal with sexual urges: preemptive approaches (i don’t watch certain scenes in movies or listen to certain songs), working out or being active, choosing to not be alone, getting in the Word, asking someone to pray for me, or just getting out of the house.

      1. Those are helpful ideas. Thanks for sharing your perspective! I have definitely found preemptive approaches to be very important – even “cleaner” chick flicks and TV shows can get my mind going down the wrong path so I stay away from a lot of those things (not because I think they’re wrong for everyone, I just know they’re not helpful for me).

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