I miss you

I’m in class called Theology of Worship. It’s a class designed to teach us how to be effective worship leaders and part of this process is taking turns, in groups, to lead the class in worship for the day. These worship services are centered around major holidays or events (i.e. Easter, baptism, Christmas, etc.). Today, a group presented on funerals. It was a unique opportunity for us, as a class, to remember those who had passed away.

I couldn’t help but think about my two baby cousins, my aunt, and my grandmother that I lost about 7 years ago and my grandfather that I lost my sophomore year at Cedarville. I fought back tears as I thought about how much I missed them

I miss them so much…

It’s especially hard now as I prepare for graduation. I wish my two little cousins could be there running around. I wish my aunt could give me a hug and congratulate me on my graduation. I wish my grandmother and grandfather could be there, beaming with pride.

But they won’t be and that hurts.

My grandfather invested so much in me…he believed in me. He never wasted his words and always made sure he encouraged me to work hard and pursue Christ. And although my grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease which prevented us from communicating much when I was older, she raised my mom…who is my hero. My aunt, even in her last days, would tell me how beautiful I was and how proud she was of me. And I didn’t know my cousins well…Justin passed away before I met him. But I held Jordan…every day after school for a few weeks. It’s hard realizing that someone you previously held is gone forever.

So for that reason…today is hard.

Today is hard because I want to kiss them and tell them that I couldn’t have made it this far without them.

Jordan, Justin, Aunt Rainey, Grandma, and Grandpa, I miss you and I love you. I hope Jesus gives you a hug for me.

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