Time to flush out the thoughts that have been jumping around my head for the past few weeks.
I’ve started to write and stopped several times this week. I can’t say I’m entirely sure why…at times having enough time was an issue, other times it was just pure laziness or me not wanting to deal with my thoughts. But here I am, on a Friday evening, ready to deal with it all.
This was my first full week of classes and boy, am I worn out! It’s been a good week, I’m enjoying my classes, I’m enjoying my friends and I’m enjoying the opportunities to serve. So why am I worn out? Why this fear of approaching another week of this craziness? It clicked tonight as I was talking to a friend…I’ve had some intense praise moments this week. I mean, those times when you are so full of His joy and so glad to worship Him. But you know what? I was just living for the spiritual highs with nothing to back it up. For example, I’d go to chapel and be really impacted by the message, talk to my friends about it and move on. I was reading the Word but I wasn’t really reading it! In the moment my praise was authentic but I didn’t go back to my foundation. I wasn’t being intentional about intimacy with the Lord. I settled for the highs and the occasional chapter read. My roommate from freshman year came to visit earlier this week and she was telling me how the Lord was working in her life. She said that in her time with the Lord it was as if they were having a conversation…that’s intimacy. That’s what I want. I have been so grateful for the times of fellowship and worship with the Body of Christ but I need time with Him…alone.
As I’ve been thinking of all of this, I’ve been pondering my purpose in life. This may have something to do with the fact that I’m graduating in May and I don’t really have any clarity as to what I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. In my social psychology class, Dr. Dolph said that the purpose of our life is to influence. Earlier this week in counseling and mentoring women, Professor Lopez said, ‘You will always have an impact, it’s up to you to decide if it’s for good or evil.’ Those words are weighing heavily on my heart…impact and influence. Fact is, every day you and I are influencing people…whether we like it or not. Seeing life that way gives it a lot of significance, especially as a follower of Jesus Christ. Every day I make choices and these choices can impact the lives of the people around for the good or for the bad…which one will I choose?
How do these thoughts connect? I’m not sure really, except to say that when I view my purpose in life as influencing others for the cause of Christ, my worship changes. Worship is so much more than singing a song in chapel or reading my Bible, worship really is a lifestyle. Worship is being intentional about acknowledging the presence of the omnipresent God. Worship is about being Jesus to the people around.
Worship is about making an impact and influencing others for the Kingdom of God.